Life After the Military

Talicia Blake
3 min readDec 19, 2020

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When I separated from the military I was not sure what I was going to do for work or how I was going to take care of my son. I was lucky enough to find a job that allowed me to work as many hours as I wanted a week. This was not the best paying job by any means but it was something that was putting money into my pocket and allowing me to provide for my son who was 3 at the time. My boyfriend at the time (we will call him Jeff) and I decided to buy a house which looking back at it was a horrible decision on my part. At the time I was in love and looked at it is a now or never, do or die type thing. We either bought a house at that moment or we would never be able to do it. Once we moved into the house things started to go downhill fairly quickly. I was not making anywhere near enough money to sustain a household and Jeff was not helping at all. I know what you are probably thinking, “Why would she decide to buy a house when her job situation was so uncertain?” or “Why would she stay with someone that was not helping her financially?” Well let me tell you, I was at my highest weight of 250+ pounds and was not very confident in myself at all. When I first met Jeff he was a person that I could see helping to change and become a better person and be a father figure to my son. When I met Jeff he was all about drinking all day until he passed out and then getting up (most times) to go to work at night. I say most nights because there were several times when I would have to go over to his house and bang on the door or his bedroom window to get him up for work. I know, I know it was pathetic but, this was the man that I was in love with at the time. So moving into the house not much had changed. I was working days so I was responsible for getting my son to my Mom’s for the day and me to work. When I got off work around 4 or 5 then I would pick up my son and go home to cook dinner. I would pack Jeff’s lunch for work and make sure that he was up and ready on time. After Jeff left for work I would clean the house take care of the dog and my son. Anyone with kids knows that taking care of a kid is a fulltime job in itself. Jeff continued to do his normal routine of day drinking until he passed out and get up for work, while I took care of everything that needed to be taken care of. After 3 years the house went into foreclosure and I had to find somewhere to move with my son. Luckily I had a friend that was willing to let us stay with her until I was able to get on my feet. I found another job and was working 2 jobs to be able to save money to get my own place. After about 3 months I was in my own apartment. It felt good to have my own place for my son and I but at the same time I was not spending much time there due to working 2 jobs. I would work from 7 in the morning until about 11:30 at night 6 days a week.

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